Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

Have you ever spoken to yourself, in your own head, in a way that you’d never speak to anyone else?

Often we have thoughts that are anxious and we need to learn how to control them and the worry they cause.

Negative self-talk that goes on in your head is self-talk that can have a damaging effect and increase stress and anxiety.

Everyone has internal chatter, a dialogue that’s carried out with self. Sometimes it feels like it’s very supportive of you and what you’re thinking, feeling and doing, and other times it’s your own worst enemy.

Either way, your internal chatter has power. And how you deal with the negative talk will be determined by what you do with it.

I recall one of my most challenging times when I was very busy in my business. I was working long hours and most times I felt I didn’t have anything more to give, of anything, to anyone.

I was flat out, no time much for me and certainly wasn’t able to add in any extra responsibilities or activities to the packed schedule.

And as the universe is known to do, something happened that demanded my attention. My elderly, though not ancient, mother fell and broke her hip and ended up in the large regional hospital located in my city. She needed an operation and it was going to be a considerable recovery period for her in the hospital.

Now if I was to say that I had no time to visit her you’d most likely think I was a selfish daughter, that I’d happily put the needs of my business which often involved people I’d only just met, before the needs of my family, my mother of eighty-three years old.

And you’d be right in thinking that…

But of course, I put my mother first, she needed me and as my siblings lived a considerable distance away and were unable to visit especially during the week, I stepped up to the task.

But how was I going to fit in a daily visit to the hospital which in total took approximately two hours?

I was already too busy!

And this was going to be a lengthy hospital stay. Mum wasn’t going anywhere soon.

A visiting pattern was established and I was happy to provide the attention and support Mum needed BUT my negative self-talk got settled in early on.

I would tell myself that it was too much for me, that it wouldn’t matter if I didn’t go every night, that someone else may have visited her during the day and that was enough, that I was too busy, and why did the responsibility have to fall on me when there might have been other options, and why me, and so on…

I realized pretty quickly I needed to take charge of this negative chatter!

I was stressing and had a head full of noise, constantly chattering and my body felt the effects.

Fortunately I worked through some powerful strategies to alleviate my stress, to calm my over anxious mind, to settle myself so I could give Mum the attention she needed.

I was able to appreciate how fortunate I was to have a mother still alive for all these years, how lucky I was to be in my own business with flexible time, how caring the hospital staff were and so on and so on.

Sadly Mum was never to return to her home. She died one day, mid-morning after eating her breakfast. The cause of death was exhaustion. She was worn out, and so was I, yet I felt I’d done everything I possibly could with the grace she deserved.

Have you ever felt the pressure of additional things thrown into your life, business, relationship, health, family or other areas?

Situations or events where you’ve wondered if you could cope with what was demanded of you…

Things can always be better if we learn how to respond differently.

If you think you need some strategies to cope with any additional stress or anxiety going on in your world get in contact with me to see if I can help linda@outcomesunlimited www.outcomesunlimited.co.nz